20 Old-School Parenting Habits Some People Think We Should Bring Back ASAP

“It used to be that kids went running off in their backyard or with friends and parents said, ‘Don’t come home until dinner,’” Dr. Tovah Klein told the Insider website in 2017. The writer of How Toddlers Thrive continued, “Nobody would do that today, but giving children freedom to play and be on their own seems very old-fashioned but is very good for kids.” In fact, it could even help sharpen their senses!

“Spending time outdoors fosters sensory and motor development, which actually lays the foundation for sensory organization,” Balanced and Barefoot writer Angela Lanscom informed Insider. “Being able to pay attention in school is reliant on that, being able to use the eyes to function and read. Being able to control their emotions also relies on being able to organize the senses.”

Growing up, we’re sure many of you remember the torment of hearing the following three words: “Clean your room.” This simple phrase caused so much angst and led to embarrassing levels of petulant arguing and complaining. Cleaning your room would eat up so much valuable Nintendo time, and it was boring, and why should you do it anyway? Mom will just do it in the end.

Well, at least that’s what we thought every time, despite the ratio of “mom stepping in” versus “mom saying ‘do it or there’ll be trouble’” being… not good. Anyway, now that we’re older we realize the value of getting kids to keep their own spaces tidy — it builds discipline, cultivates a sense of responsibility, and actually makes you feel better. So, it’s definitely something parents should still insist on today.

Modern parents take the time to talk with their kids, find out their point of view on things and respond accordingly. This is great, as communication is always key in any relationship. But this is not how the previous generation experienced life — if we were told “No” and asked “Why not?” we were swiftly shut down with: “Because I’m the parent, that’s why!”

Now, you may say kids today have it better, and you may well be right. But here’s the thing: not everything should be up for discussion. Parents shouldn’t have to explain all the decisions that they make. For example, if your kid wants to perform WWE moves with his buddies on his bed, which has been broken before, you should be able to say “No” and hear no more about it.

Growing up, we’d always have to get dressed up for special occasions. Whether this was going to church, or a family dinner at a restaurant, or going on vacation, we dressed to impress. It was annoying at the time and often we asked, “Why does anyone care if I’m wearing a shirt and bow tie instead of my hockey jersey?” But now we get it.

These days, society leans increasingly towards casual dress. But insisting kids dress a little more classily for certain things will help them understand that, in life, sometimes you need to put in the effort — weddings, funerals, and workplaces all tend to have dress codes. Plus, dressing up in your finery has been proven to be a positive thing for mental health. After all, everyone likes looking fresh!

How many of us grew up with a list of chores we had to do around the house? Back in our childhoods, knowing that you had to vacuum the house top to bottom, or mow the lawn, or wash the dishes, was just a part of growing up. We even heard of some of our friends being rewarded with a couple bucks from their parents for doing a good job. Those lucky ducks.

These days, though, chores don’t seem to be on the menu for most kids. We get it — parents tend to want their kids to be kids for as long as possible. But as Dr. Rahat Sayyad, from the Doctor Mommy Speaks Parenting podcast, says, “Even the littlest kids can do something to help out. Age appropriate chores can help in teaching basic life skills.”

These days, it isn’t uncommon to hear someone say, “My daughter’s like my best friend!” It’s a nice sentiment, and we’re sure the relationship dynamic works well for the parent who said it, but it mightn’t actually be the best tactic for everyone. You see, being a parent isn’t about being popular with your kids — it’s about raising them right.

Kids need boundaries and, to an extent, they need to know someone’s in charge. As Dr. Klein told Insider, “Children feel safest when the parents are setting the rules. It doesn’t have to be overly strict, but the structure that parents give and the rules that they set with the child in mind actually help children grow and develop and feel secure.”

In our day, a birthday party was usually held at home with a bunch of friends, ice cream, a cake, and some party games. If you were lucky as you got older, maybe you got to go bowling or to the movies with your buddies. They were fairly simple events, but you know what? Usually, a slice of cake and some playtime was all you needed.

These days, perhaps due to the pressures of social media, kids’ birthday parties have gotten way more elaborate. That’s totally unnecessary, though. As Becky Squire of parenting website Scary Mommy wrote, her parents “didn’t give every guest a basket filled with personalized party favors. They didn’t rent out the local trampoline park or hire a professional photographer or caterer. Yet we still had fun!”

Modern parenting tends to push back against the more free and easy style used by the previous generation. In our day, it wasn’t unusual to play in the neighborhood for hours on end, with our parents having little to no idea where we were. But that began to change over the years, likely due to news coverage of abductions and tragic accidents becoming more prevalent.

Within reason, though, letting kids be by themselves isn’t as dangerous as it may appear — statistics bear that out. Perhaps a middle ground can be found in which parents have a good idea of where their kids are and what they’re doing, but don’t feel the need to micro-manage their fun or keep them close at all times. It’s all about balance, right?

To any parents of teenagers out there, we salute you — it isn’t an easy gig. Walking maelstroms of hormones and conflicting emotions, teens are hard to parent. Heck, we remember what we were like at that age, and often wonder how our parents coped. But one mantra they used that we think still translates well today is this: respect is a two-way street.

In essence, our parents said they would treat us with respect if we did the same in return. So, if we were told we couldn’t go to a party and reacted by blowing a fuse, yelling “I hate you” and slamming our room door? We were told in no uncertain terms that this wasn’t going to fly — being upset is understandable, but they wouldn’t accept any insults in the house.

In a 2021 Scary Mommy blog, Becky Squire told an eye-opening anecdote. She wrote, “My husband and I spent a week cooking for 300 teens a few years ago. We would spend the entire day cooking, doing dishes, and literally serving food onto their empty plates for them. We were shocked at the amount of ‘thank you’s’ we received — two out of 300.”

It seems many people believe that children these days have a lack of manners and also think it’s because they aren’t taught to them. Or, at the very least, they aren’t insisted upon as much as they would’ve been in previous generations. We reckon the old-fashioned way’s better in this case — saying “please” and “thank you” should be a given, right?

Here’s a quote for you: “Children; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” Sounds like something any old-timer would say these days, right? But what if we told you it was uttered by the great philosopher Socrates in 470BC? Yes, that’s right — kids haven’t respected adults for more than 2,000 years!

Now, while we’re having some fun with it, children paying respects to adults is still something parents push for — ours certainly did. And even though every subsequent generation is accused of being ruder than the one before it, we still reckon this is a great thing to instill in your kids. Older people can teach us many things from their experiences, as well as help to foster a good ethical code.

In 2016, a University of Virginia investigation analyzed the differences in kindergarten teacher expectations between 1998 and 2010. Back in 1998, 29 percent of those asked believed that children should have mastered their ABCs prior to starting kindergarten. By 2010, though? That’d risen to more than 60 percent. The research also found that modern lessons focus less on arts and crafts, music, and theater, and more on academic pursuits.

The conclusion seems simple: today’s children are made to focus far more on academics from a much younger age than previous generations. This is great in some respects, but many old-school parents believe it can cause undue anxiety and puts too much pressure on kids when they’re too young to cope with it. We can’t help wondering if a return to a young childhood centered on creativity and making friends would be better.

It’s sometimes easy to underestimate the importance of family. But it remains one of the great constants in most people’s lives: friends, partners, and jobs may not last, yet your family’s always your family. Obviously, this is painting in broad strokes and mightn’t apply to everyone, but to many of us, family’s vital. And so are family traditions.

A family tradition can be as simple as everyone getting together for a meal on Sundays. It can be watching a movie together at the weekend, or everyone carving pumpkins at Halloween. But these things create lasting memories, bring generations closer, and foster a sense of family identity. Our parents certainly had traditions, and we reckon they still have a place today.

Parents these days run themselves ragged trying to keep their children stimulated and entertained at all times. This is because “bored” has become a dirty word — if your kid tells you they’re bored? It must mean you’re failing as a parent, right? Well, no. Not at all. In fact, there’s a school of thought that being bored can actually be a positive thing for kids.

One celebrity proponent of letting your children experience dull times is Hamilton creator Lin-Manuel Miranda. In 2016 he told GQ magazine, “Time alone is the gift of self-entertainment — and that is the font of creativity. Because there is nothing better to spur creativity than a blank page or an empty bedroom.” He’s right, you know!

Parenting is rife with pitfalls, and one of the main ones is the struggle to be consistent. What do we mean by this? Well, if your kids are refusing to go to bed at their usual bedtime, it’s tempting to just give in to them. What’s the harm in letting them stay up half an hour longer? You’re likely to regret it when half an hour isn’t enough anymore and they continue to push the boundaries, though.

Basically, if you aren’t careful, parenting can turn into an unstructured sequence of pleading, bribing, bargaining, and eventually yelling. This is why consistency is key — if you say bedtime’s at 8:30 p.m., then you stick to it, and any arguments result in a punishment. To be fair, it worked for our parents, whose motto was something close to “Never negotiate with terrorists.”

To some parents, the notion of inviting their kids into the kitchen to help them cook is horrifying. They imagine it resulting in complete destruction — the kitchen reduced to rubble while the children hurl eggs and attack each other with whisks. But, while this may happen once or twice, there are actually great benefits to cooking with your kids.

For one thing, it’s a great way to bond with your kids, while also teaching them skills that’ll become vital as they grow older. Studies have also shown that children who cook with their parents have higher quality diets overall — adults tend to choose more healthy options when showing their kids how it’s done. And hey, we remember cooking pancakes with Dad on a Sunday morning — it’s fun.

These days, many families eat their dinner in front of the TV. We all lead busy lives and are constantly running around doing this and that, so chilling out in front of the tube while eating is an easy and simple routine to fall into. It isn’t how our parents did things, though, and much to our chagrin, it’s probably another thing they were right about.

A family meal — at the dinner table — is a much better routine. It enables conversation to flow much more easily and is a nice way for everyone to connect after their time at school or work. Making family mealtimes an event that your day’s built around is something everyone will find comforting in the long run — we guarantee it.

In 2012 Flora Cuisine published a study showing that 34 percent of U.K. moms cooked multiple different meals every night for their families. That’s one in three moms catering to their fussy kids with their preferred dinner options – every single evening. Can you even imagine floating that idea to your own mother back in the day? We can’t.

Back in our day, there were a couple of options for family dinner: eat what you’re given or go hungry! The stress of trying to put together multiple meals every night must be considerable for modern moms. In reality, though? There’s no need to. Our parents’ philosophy that everyone eats the same thing for dinner was definitely one of those “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” things.

Picture the scene — you’re watching TV one evening after a long day. Suddenly, your kid appears out of nowhere and tells you they forgot to do an art project for school. And it’s due the next day. And they need you to buy macaroni, glitter, and glue. Oh, and could you help them put it all together, too? Your first thought is to spring into action, right? Wrong.

Here’s the thing to ask yourself: what would your parents have done in this situation? They’d probably have told you, “You’re on your own, buddy.” And you know what? That’s no bad thing, because children need to be allowed to fail from time to time. They may well get angry, but being forced to do something for themselves — to try and fail, then try again — will increase their resolve.

There’s a lot of guilt attached to parenting these days — we all feel the drive to be everything to everyone. An uncomfortable truth, though, is that everyone needs time away from their kids now and again. Whether it’s carving out a night to have a dinner with your partner or taking a few hours to read a book in a quiet room, grown-up time’s essential.

If you’re constantly with your children 24 hours a day, seven days a week, it can lead to feeling overwhelmed. Time away should help you feel recharged, though. And it’s highly unlikely that your kids will feel abandoned if mommy and daddy go out for dinner every now and again. If anything, it’ll help them to understand that parents have lives of their own.