This Is What It’s Really Like To Be A Member Of The Queen’s Guard

In 2014 a man who was still employed as a Queen’s Guard offered Reddit users the chance to ask him anything about the job. Under the username nibs123, he revealed several secrets about life on the frontline of Buckingham Palace. And one of the most interesting was that guards like to play practical jokes to help kill some time.

There’s one aspect of the Queen’s Guard uniform certain to get animal rights’ groups in a tizz. For their massive hats are made out of very real bearskin. There have been calls to replace the fur with synthetic material by conservationists. But for now the hats are still very much PETA-unfriendly.

Sometimes tourists can get just a little too close when guardsmen are on duty. In 2015 former RAF engineer Gerry Weatherhead ended up getting pushed out of the way by some marching guards in the Trooping of the Colour. The man had accidentally strayed into their path during a visit to Buckingham Palace.

Protecting the Queen outside her Buckingham Palace residence may be a special job but it isn’t exactly a lucrative one. When asked about his salary on the Reddit thread, guard nibs123 disclosed that he earned £1,300 a month (approximately $1,800) in basic pay when he first took on the job. That moved up to £1,600 ($2,200) after several years’ service.

With their bulky uniform and supersized hat, it’s little wonder that many guards have fainted while on duty. But apparently there’s even a protocol for this. If guards are aware they’re about to pass out, then they have to fall to the ground face-first. This is known as fainting to attention. Not so good for one’s health, or one’s nose, we think.

If guards find themselves caught short during their shift, then it’s pretty much tough luck. They’re not allowed to leave their post. And Reddit guardsman nibs123 reminisced about one particular colleague that suffered as a result. He said, “On a parade in front of a large crowd, one of my fellow guardsmen needed to relieve himself and couldn’t hold it any longer. He was on the front row and left a huge obvious puddle where he was.”

Although their position is mainly ceremonial, there are occasions when guards will be called into armed duty. If there’s a situation considered to be high-risk, they will apparently be given live ammunition for added protection. But most guards will go through their entire Buckingham Palace career without seeing this more gung-ho side of the job.

Guards pay a price for wearing hats that are made out of real bearskin. If it happens to be raining when they are on duty, then their headwear gets much heavier. Yes, those protecting the Queen sometimes have to suffer the agony of sporting no fewer than nine pounds of fur on their head.

The color of guards’ pants isn’t just a design choice. It’s also to spare their blushes should nature call at the worst possible moment. The color black allows those tasked with protecting the Queen to urinate if they can’t hold it in any longer without alerting the public to their embarrassment.

Passing the time while standing still in the same spot for hours on end is one of the key skills for a Queen’s Guard. Singing their favorite songs or recalling an entire film – in their heads of course – is a popular way to stop the boredom. But some will simply turn the tables on the gawking public and do some people watching themselves.

You wouldn’t expect guards to interact much with the people they’re employed to protect. But according to a Reddit thread started by a former guard with the username Killco_Joe, the royals are not averse to some small talk. He wrote, “[The family] are all wonderful, down-to-earth people from the ones I have met. [The late] Prince Philip is hilarious... You have to take what he says in jest; he’s an old fella with a great sense of humor.”

Another way that guards can kill time is by photobombing the general public’s photos. In the Reddit thread, nibs123 admitted, “When I’m really bored, I like to mess peoples’ pictures up. When a load of... tourists came and set up a huge picture, I waited until the cameraman was counting down to take the picture, then marched up and down my post until they all left... A little evil I know.”

Several intruders have tried to, and in some cases succeeded in, sneaking into Buckingham Palace. But they do so at their own peril. For guards are legally allowed to attack anyone deemed to be threatening the lives of both royals and their staff members. Apparently they can even kill as a last resort. But, as with police officers who kill, they would have to be able to justify their actions.

Turning that frown upside down can be a costly move for guards if they’re caught doing so. Apparently they can be fined up to $230 if spotted smiling or laughing by their employers. Reddit user nibs123 admitted in his thread that this can be a tough penalty to avoid. He wrote, “I try not to [laugh] but sometimes you just can’t help it. Some people are just too funny.”

Some guards can rely on their imagination to keep them occupied during the long hours on duty. Others may need a little more help, though. It may be frowned upon but Reddit user nibs123 admits that he’s managed to disguise an iPod underneath his massive bearskin hat for some musical entertainment.

Guards have to look immaculate at all times, and this extends to their footwear, too. Killco_Joe revealed in his own Ask Me Anything Reddit thread, “We have to make sure it is [polished with Brasso] everyday, same with the brass fittings of the buff belt. The boots have to be so reflective that you can visibly see your teeth in them.”

If you’ve ever wondered why guards have to sport those ridiculously large bearskin hats, wonder no more. According to Reddit user nibs123, it’s all for show. He said, “In the old days, it made us more intimidating... When cavalry charged us they would aim for the heads, which is why we wear the chinstrap under our nose so the hat would come off if hit without breaking our necks.”

Prince Harry probably won’t appreciate one particular revelation that cropped up in the Reddit thread. When asked about his royal encounters, user nibs123 recalled seeing the Duke of Sussex return home from a drinking session. And Harry was so inebriated he had to be carried into Buckingham Palace by a bodyguard.

While some members of the public could be regarded as a threat by the guards, others could be the exact opposite. When asked about the strangest encounter he’d had, Reddit user nibs123 recalled the moment a woman tried to give him a full French kiss. He joked, “I was in complete shock but she was pretty so I let it go.”

You may think that you’re being clever by imitating the distinctive way that guards walk during their shifts. But not only have they seen such tomfoolery countless times before, they find it insulting. Even more so when the member of the public in question apes their walk in completely the wrong way.

Not only are guards at Buckingham Palace likely to bump into the odd royal family member from time to time. They may also get a personal encounter with the head of the whole Windsor clan. When asked whether he’d ever met the Queen on the Reddit thread, user nibs123 replied, “Yes, when I was on guard at Windsor Castle she came up to me with her husband and the dogs and asked me some questions. She’s really nice.”

Although those protecting the Queen at Buckingham Palace are meant to be silent at all times, there are occasions when they’re allowed to speak. Should a member of the public get too close or act inappropriately, then guards can shout at them as a warning. If that doesn’t work, then they can also brandish their bayonets as an extra deterrent.

No matter how baking hot the weather may be, guards always have to be kitted out in the full uniform and bearskin hat. And they’re not even allowed to wipe the sweat away from their brow while on duty. Guards will get a drink of water to cool them down if it gets ridiculously hot, but otherwise they just have to ride it out.

It used to be solely a man’s job, yes. But since the turn of the century women have been able to protect the royal family dressed in a bearskin hat, too. In fact, a female soldier has even been selected by Buckingham Palace staff to lead out the Queen’s Guard. Times are a changin’ and all that.

You’ve probably seen guards outside Buckingham Palace march to their left for approximately ten steps before returning to their post. This isn’t just because they fancied a quick change of scenery. Guards need to move throughout their shift to ensure that they don’t faint from a lack of blood flow.