New Evidence About Ancient Egyptian Hygiene Has People Shaken

Ancient Egyptians didn't have telephones, electricity, or automobiles, but boy did they have fashion sense. Men and women of all social stations prided themselves on looking fresh — just like we do today. Yet their daily habits were very different from ours. Yup, chances are that modern people wouldn't touch the ancient Egyptians' bizarre beauty tips with a ten-foot pole.

1. Shaved heads

For both men and women in ancient Egypt, lice proved to be a major nuisance. They evicted these pests simply by shearing all their hair off! Granted, the elite did wear wigs as a status symbol.

2. Chewing herbs

Would you freak out if you saw a scribe with food stuck in his teeth? At least it might have been a sign that he had decent smelling breath. Egyptians munched on all kinds of fragrant leaves to fight halitosis.

3. Eyeshadow

Based on their heavy eye makeup, Egyptians would've loved the pop-punk trend of the 2000s. In addition to the striking visual effect, the eyeshadow and mascara helped deter the harsh rays of the Saharan sun.

4. Digging potties

Only the very rich and powerful could afford indoor toilets, and even those were a far cry from the porcelain thrones we enjoy today. Everyone else had to dig out a small pit to heed the call of nature.

5. Lots of laxatives

Medical men of the day believed the body needed to be flushed out regularly to prevent disease. Their method of choice was a powerful laxative, which was tough news for the majority of folks who had to dig their own toilets.

6. River washing

Depending on where you live, doing your laundry in a nearby body of water might not be a bad option. But because the Nile was once a dumping ground for human waste, their "clean" clothes came out less than pristine.

7. Moisturize with animal fat

To protect their skin against the arid desert air, women rubbed their faces with tallow — globs of rendered animal fat. Not only did it work, but the melting fat helped keep them cool!

8. Homemade toothpaste

The early Egyptians were surprisingly forward-thinking when it came to oral care. Using bristled sticks, they brushed with a homemade paste, which often counted salt, eggshells, and burnt ox hooves among its ingredients.

9. Bathe with strangers

Only a few people had the luxury of enjoying a private bathtub. Most Egyptians took care of their cleaning in public facilities, which were indoors if they were lucky!

10. Use insect-based makeup

Actually, a number of modern makeup lines contain animal products. Egyptian lipstick was no different, as it relied primarily on mashed up ants and beetles for pigmentation. That had to make kissing interesting!

11. Unorthodox pregnancy test

Ladies of Egypt devised an interesting way to find out if they had a bun in the oven — or a Moses in the basket. They would urinate on separate piles of barley and wheat, and if either seed grew, it indicated they were expecting.

12. Spray tons of perfume

The popularity of cinnamon and myrrh-scented aromas around the Nile wasn't just to cover up the stink. Many Egyptians believed perfumes had religious associations, as they represented the essences of the gods.

13. Regular manicures

Should you ever get trapped in the past due to a time travel malfunction, the good news is that you can still keep your nails looking fine. In fact, manicurists were held in high esteem.

14. Eyebrows on fleek

Even today, a professional eyebrow artist would be impressed at the tools that Egyptians had in their glamour arsenal. To keep their brows looking sharp, they developed all kinds of tools you might recognize...

15. Shaved eyebrows

If you can believe it, they had versions of scissors, tweezers, and even mirrors. It's comforting to know that vanity isn't just a twenty-first century trend! Granted, some Egyptians chose to shave their eyebrows completely.

16. Elevated insect repellent

Long before the invention of bug spray, wealthy Egyptians fought off gnats and mosquitoes in a very expensive way: they built their bedrooms on top of towers! Supposedly, winds that high up would deter swarms of pests.

17. Plenty Of henna

Using powder gathered from the crushed henna plant, Northern Africans were among the first to decorate their arms, bodies, and faces. In particular, brides sported these intricate designs during their weddings.

18. Circumcision

Male slaves and pharaohs alike practiced circumcision, which promoted physical and spiritual cleanliness in their minds. The part that would freak out modern people, however, is that they treated it as a rite of passage from boyhood to manhood.

19. Headache cure

The Sphinx may have lost his nose, but other Egyptians had it worse. Like other ancient cultures, they practiced trepanning — the practice of drilling a hole into the skull to relieve pressure.

20. Lice was a major issue

It was such a large problem that most ancient Egyptians decided to shave their heads instead of dealing with the pesky vermin. Even the tombs were filled with lice (so you couldn’t even escape them in the afterlife).

21. Men rocked the clean shave

Most of the men preferred to shave themselves from head to toe. Women normally wore a wig that could be easily exchanged when it became too invested with lice. Lovely. There was probably a whole pile of these nasty lice wigs sitting around somewhere.

22. Flashing Seamen

One activity that ancient Egyptian men enjoyed was flashing women as they sailed past them. This was a part of a religious festival. They’d take the entire family and head to Bubastis for the celebration with a huge crowd of people.

23. Taking the bait

Along the way, men would flash the pretty girls they saw. They hoped the women would jump in the water and swim after them because they were so impressed with their “display.” It’s so weird historians generally leave that out when they write about this civilization. 

24. Life after death

Speaking of lovely displays, when King Tutankhamen’s tomb was uncovered, historians were stunned: so many mysteries of the ancient Egyptians were unlocked. They also realized the king was buried in a, um, state of arousal.

25. Borrowed bits

And oddly, King Tut is so far the other pharaoh with this added flair. There’s a theory that the phallus isn’t even his! Some scholars suspect that Tut’s member was replaced with a more aesthetically pleasing specimen instead. 

26. Desperate times call for desperate...

Women were left wanting for contraception options in ancient Egypt. Some chose to mix honey with certain herbs and other ingredients, and others were partial to using crocodile poop and leaves. The mixture was then inserted into a women’s birth canal to prevent pregnancy. Gross.

27. They kept things spicy

Men even used birth control. Theirs consisted of taking an onion, juicing it, and then rubbing it on their parts before sex. Once again, not sure why this was left out of history books. Who wouldn’t be ready to go after this?

28. They really loved their mummies

Another issue in ancient Egypt was necrophilia. This was the fate that awaited powerful or beautiful women when they passed away. Embalmers had been caught in the act by their employees, so this wasn’t just a nasty rumor. Officials came up with a solution.

29. Some things don't age well

To fight this deplorable practice, women were left to rot for a few days in the hot Egyptian sun before they were sent to the embalmer. Problem solved. 

30. Ancient airbrushing

It turns out that the supposedly gorgeous, slim royalty portrayed in historical images and preserved paintings actually forced their artists to draw them in a conventionally beautiful way. Body dysmorphia and low self-esteem even plagued the ancient Egyptians!

31. Feasting pharaohs

Because the pharaohs and their relatives were actually obese and extremely unhealthy. Each day they would scarf down wine, cakes, fatty meats and a host of other artery-clogging food. This was such an issue that ancient doctors were already warning people about the health concerns related to being this overweight.

32. Crash diet

Even though the royals spent much of their time eating, they were still very concerned with their weight. To fight this, they would clear out three days of the month and take a castor oil laxative. This was something literally on their calendar to do.

33. The purge

After ingesting the oil, they would spend the entire day on the toilet. When Egyptians were done ridding themselves of every ounce of liquid in their bodies, they would clean up the mess by hand. Another gem for the history books. 

34. Egyptian shepherd

Fun fact: the ancient Egyptian word for proctologist was “shepherd of the anus," which does make the job sound more pleasant. At this point in time, proctologists mainly just gave people enemas. And their customers were huge, huge fans of the procedure.

35. All praise Thoth

Egyptians had a holy connection to enemas. They told a story of the god Thoth developing enemas and then sharing that sacred knowledge with humanity. Thoth seems like an okay guy.

36. Ancient oil check

Meanwhile, Ancient Egyptian doctors had few very unique ways to test a woman’s fertility. One was by covering a female’s entire body with oil and then having her lay down overnight. If she looked fresh the next morning, she was ready to go. And if not, she wasn’t fertile yet.

37. The breath of life

Doctors would also try putting some garlic or onion inside a woman overnight. He’d smell her breath the next morning, and if he could smell the onion or garlic, she was fertile.

38. The red stream

Another condition ancient Egyptians were prone to was schistosomiasis. This made people feel feverish and pee blood. But, because it was so nasty everywhere, people just kept getting this disease.

39. False fertility

In a similar vein, schistosomiasis was so common that men thought they were experiencing periods, like women. It was seen as a good thing to pee blood, as it apparently showed fertility in men.