1930s Dating Tips That Seem Like They’re From Another World

Drinking too much alcohol on a date was a serious sin, according to a 1938 issue of the magazine Click Photo-Parade. And while the article suggested some women come across as intelligent after a couple of drinks, it also claimed that most “get silly.” The writer sagely advised their female readership, “The last straw is to pass out from too much liquor. Chances are your date will never call you again!”

Apparently, you needed to appear popular to secure a date. That was the advice doled out to freshmen in a 1938 article in Mademoiselle. “During your first term, get home talent to ply you with letters, telegrams, and invitations. College men will think, ‘She must be attractive if she can rate all that attention.’” Um, we suppose that makes a little sense...

Author Dorothy Dix sternly suggested women refrain from chatting too much, or – even worse – talking about themselves. But Click Photo-Parade was even more specific with its advice. Apparently, women should make especially sure to remain silent on the dance floor, as “when a man dances, he wants to dance.”

These dating articles from the 1930s make it seem as if men enjoyed dating emotionless robots. This isn’t true, of course, but it didn’t stop women from being strongly encouraged to hide their feelings. According to Click Photo-Parade, “Men don’t like tears, especially in public places.” Dix echoed that sentiment in her book How to Win and Hold a Husband, writing, “Men do not like sentimental women.”

Of course, chewing gum gives you fresher breath – great if your date wants to pucker up. But Click Photo-Parade insisted to women that it really isn’t worth it. Chomping gum may, according to the magazine, make you look bored, and so it is “not advised.” If you really must partake, though, it’s best to do so with your mouth closed. To be fair, that just seems like good manners.

Apparently, absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder in the 1930s. That’s if you count poor punctuality as absence, anyway, because Click Photo-Parade advised women to be “ready to go when [your] date arrives.” That’s really just common sense – much like its follow-up suggestion, “Greet him with a smile!”

Looking good for a date is essential, but Dix claimed that it is possible to overdo it. The author warned specifically that a woman “scares [a man] off when she decks herself out in what looks like a million dollars worth of finery.” Essentially, avoid showing up in designer gear. Otherwise, your date may assume that they can’t afford to take you out.

And Dix’s choice advice extended to etiquette beyond the actual date. For instance, she recommended that women avoid picking up the telephone – particularly during business hours. “He will hate you for it because you are jeopardizing his job. There is no surer way for a girl to make herself unpopular with men than to be a telephone hound,” she wrote in her 1939 book. Just imagine if Dix had lived to see social media...

It may seem rather drastic, but Dix seriously suggested that a girl who can’t get a date should try hopping on a plane. “Many a girl who is a social failure at home is a success abroad. Many a girl whom the boys on Main Street couldn’t see becomes one whom strange men behold with admiration,” the author elaborated. That’s good advice if it’s “strange men” you’re hoping to court...

Dix also said that 30 is the age at which you should stop hoping a man will propose to you. After that, you should take matters into your own hands and “go in for a whirlwind campaign” with your chosen suitor. “Virtually any woman can marry any man if she will just go after him hard enough – provided she never lets him suspect that she is being the aggressor,” Dix added, a little creepily.

These days, we’re not sure many guys would be particularly wowed by your knowledge of bridge. But in the 1930s Dix cited it as one of several ways a woman could keep her man interested. The author explained that a pretty face isn’t enough to get by, and a woman also “has to know how to be entertaining and amusing.”

Not all dating advice was targeted at women, however. In his 1937 essay The Rating and Dating Complex, sociologist Willard Waller listed a number of things men needed to find success in the dating world. And among the biggies? “Access to an automobile,” apparently.

In her 1936 tome Live Alone and Like It, journalist Marjorie Hillis suggested phoning a friend as a useful weapon in a woman’s dating arsenal. But she wasn’t talking about doing it just to catch up. Hillis actually recommended the strategy as a means to avoid over-contacting someone in the early stages of dating. And you could simply turn on the “wireless if there was no one to call.”

Perhaps the most bewildering aspect of this slice of advice is that it needed to be given at all. But if you can believe it, Click Photo-Parade really did feel it necessary to tell women not to fix their makeup in the rear-view mirror. The piece advised, “Man needs it in driving, and it annoys him very much to have to turn around to see what’s behind him.”

Looking at the 1930s Click Photo-Parade article, you’d be forgiven for thinking the suffrage movement had never happened. Basically, the magazine’s advice seems to suggest women exist only for the pleasure of men. “Don’t talk about clothes or try to describe your new gown to a man. Please and flatter your date by talking about the things he wants to talk about” was another of its nuggets of wisdom.

Click Photo-Parade has a lot to say on what women shouldn’t talk about. Another choice snippet suggested, “Don’t be conspicuous talking to other men.” That could make ordering your dinner a little tricky if the waiter happens to be male.

But if you find yourself having to talk to a waiter, Click Photo-Parade covered this base, too. And its warning is pretty much as you’d expect: simply avoid it altogether. The writer suggested, “Don’t be familiar with the head waiter talking about the fun you had with someone else another time.” To be fair, if you’re reminiscing about a previous date, that’s fair advice. Otherwise, it’s ridiculously restrictive.

This may sound reasonable from the perspective of a passerby. But Click Photo-Parade’s article was – once again – only really interested in how the man feels. It advised women against being “familiar” with their dates to avoid making them uncomfortable. The writer decreed, “Any open show of affection is in bad taste, [and it] usually embarrasses or humiliates him.”

This incredible dating tip is seemingly loosely related to not appearing bored. But “don’t sit in awkward positions” – as Click Photo-Parade literally described it – seems like woefully vague advice. What exactly constitutes an “awkward position?” An accompanying image suggests one such pose, but it’s difficult to describe it as “awkward” by today’s standards.

Click Photo-Parade similarly suggested that women should not only dress privately, but apply their makeup behind closed doors, too. That wasn’t described as another way for women to maintain their allure, however, but more as a warning. “Men don’t like girls who borrow their handkerchief and smudge them with lipstick,” the article said.

This is another one for the men. In The Rating and Dating Complex, Willard Waller’s advice seemed to be largely targeted at guys on college campuses. “Belong to one of the better fraternities,” he suggested. Although surely that would entail being around more men than ladies?

Not all of Waller’s advice was so readily achievable. He also stipulated that men should have “a copious supply of spending money.” College students aren’t generally known for their wealth, so this seems like a tough ask.

Fashion advice wasn’t always complicated in the 1930s. For example, the 1938 Click Photo-Parade article simply stated, “If you need a brasserie, wear one.” It gets a bit more antiquated from there, though. After all, we can’t imagine many women today need to heed the sentence, “Don’t tug at your girdle, and be careful your stockings are not wrinkled.”

Pick-up lines weren’t actually conceived by modern dating maestros. Nope, they’ve been around for decades. Even Waller described the necessity for a “good line” – referring to a man’s personality and passion. Both were essential to win over a girl, as author Kevin White explained in his 1993 book The First Sexual Revolution. He wrote, “Calling demanded ‘character’ of men, while dating demanded ‘personality.’”

To be fair, getting dressed in public isn’t exactly first-date material. But dressing in private doesn’t just protect your modesty; it also helps you to maintain an air of mystery. And the anonymous Click Photo-Parade writer knew as much even in the 1930s, advising women to “do your dressing in your boudoir to keep your allure.” All you need now is a boudoir.

Phoning a friend wasn’t the only piece of solid gold advice in Hillis’ handbook. She also empowered her readers by telling them not to worry about their date’s opinions. “The best rule is to make your invitations worth accepting and not to care what the man thinks so long as he comes,” she wrote.

But while her guide claimed to be for single women, some of Hillis’ advice was nevertheless geared towards pleasing men. She addressed the changing social attitudes of the time when discussing hobbies, for example. “There was a time when a hobby was absolutely de rigueur. But hobbies are anti-social now. Modern men don’t like to be sewn and knitted at. And the mere whisper that a girl collects prints, stamps, tropical fish, or African art is, alas, likely to increase her solitude,” Hillis said, a little meanly.

When it came to personal grooming, however, Hillis lauded its benefits for a woman’s self-esteem. That was first and foremost, and anything else was simply a bonus. She explained in her guide, “The woman who always looks at night as though she were expecting a lover is likely to have several.”

Hillis was also straightforward on the subject of sex, telling women that their business was entirely their own. She advised, “A woman’s honor is no longer mentioned with bated breath and protected by her father, her brother, and the community.” The journalist was more restrictive where affairs were concerned, however, and recommended that women shouldn’t even contemplate them before turning 30.

It is the duty of men to physically protect women even when strolling down the sidewalk, according to a 32-page booklet titled Modern Manners. Yes, the 1936 work – written by U.S. journalist Frederic J. Haskan – actually advised men to walk closer to the curb. Eight decades later, that use of “modern” may be starting to seem like a misnomer.

One particularly outdated notion in Haskin’s booklet is that women shouldn’t order at restaurants when accompanied by men. The guide called it improper and claimed that it’s always the role of the man to pick the food for his date. But this idea seems oddly regressive even for the time when you compare it to the empowering advice doled out by Hillis.

Some of the dating etiquette in Haskin’s guide also seems strangely specific. Take his advice on riding public transport, for example, which dictated that men should be the first to get off a bus. Apparently, this was necessary so that he could “offer assistance to his companion in alighting.” Chivalry was clearly a prized concept in the 1930s – but presumably not instinctive to men.

But Haskin’s guide wasn’t only targeted at men. It also had plenty of advice for 1930s women – such as the recommendation that they shouldn’t invite guys into their homes. More specifically, the booklet advised against females asking their dates to “come in for a few minutes” late at night. They had to keep their honor, you see...

“Etiquette demands that a woman speak first when meeting a man,” Haskin also said. While this may seem like a rare win for women, don’t be fooled. “This is in order that an undesirable acquaintanceship need not be continued,” the writer added. So, in theory, it was perfectly acceptable for a man to turn his date down simply because he didn’t like her voice.

Nowadays, it’s customary for a guy to buy an engagement ring before proposing to his significant other. But in the 1930s, the opposite was apparently true – at least if Haskin’s guide is anything to go by. The writer admonished any man who might “prepare for acceptance beforehand.” He instead recommended that the ring be purchased before the engagement was formally announced.

Have you ever stressed out over where to go or what to do on a date? If so, you may wish this archaic dating custom was still commonplace – as long as you’re a woman, that is. The responsibility for planning a date in the 1930s apparently rested entirely on the man’s shoulders, according to research compiled by blogger Peyton Ashby.

Men were also expected to pay for everything as well as organizing activities for the evening. But attitudes differ a little today. A 2014 study by researchers at California State University found that 64 percent of men expect their dates to help out with the check. In reality, things haven’t changed all that much, as the majority of men still cover the tab on most occasions.

Ashby’s research suggests that meeting at a mutually agreed-upon location was a no-go in the 1930s. Instead, men typically picked up their dates from their homes – a practice that served a dual purpose. First, it ensured women were always accompanied while out on an evening. The rule also forced the man to be the designated driver and so display his responsible nature.

Now, this may seem like common sense that should still apply today: offer your jacket if the lady on the date is cold. But the particulars of this piece of advice still seem unnecessarily complicated. According to Ashby, a man was supposed to hand over his jacket “just before it arrives on her shoulders.” The timing may have been an art form, but it was apparently intended to save the woman any embarrassment.

Today, the dance around who should text who after a date can turn out to be a serious headache. But things were a little more straightforward back in the 1930s. Ashby’s research suggests, “It is the role of a gentleman to call after a date. Just as you would call after a job interview to follow up on how you did, the same applies to dating.”

But even decades on, gender roles hadn’t changed much. During the 1950s, for example, women largely stayed home and kept house while men went out and earned a living. Mind you, this didn’t mean the ladies weren’t picky when it came to securing spouses. And some of the qualities ’50s women desired in their husbands may come as a big surprise considering the era.

When it came to finding the ideal husband, for women of the 1950s height was key. The perfect suitor had to be tall, with the optimum measurement seemingly being a nice, round 6 feet. Back in 1957 the average woman was 5 feet, 2 inches tall, meaning girls dreamed of having a man tower over them.

While many women today may dream of being swept off their feet by a tall, dark and handsome stranger, ladies in the 1950s had different tastes. For them, the ideal man would have had sparkling blue eyes. And according to some studies, there may be scientific evidence to suggest that people are generally more attracted to light eyes than dark ones.

Another highly prized attribute for women of the 1950s was athleticism. Being sporty in general was considered a big plus, and it didn’t really matter what a man’s specific preferred activity may be. However, that being said, according to a 1956 Life article basketball, baseball and football were the most popular sports girls had in mind for their future husbands.

While the perfect housewife was expected to work around her husband’s needs, women didn’t seek out domineering men. With that in mind, ladies would avoid a man who would crack the whip, so to speak. Instead, they wanted a more equal partnership, which was perhaps a sign that gender roles were already changing.

In line with new ideas about the modern man, women wanted to find a husband who was willing to help out around the house. In the 1950s, however, females were expected to take the lion’s share of household chores. As a result, even a little cooperation from the man of the house would probably go a long way.

When women married 60 years ago, most of them gave up employment in order to fulfill the role of a housewife. With that in mind, many girls dreamed of bagging a husband with a reliable profession. After all, the whole family would rely on the man’s income to survive, so being able to provide for them was considered very important.

While raising a family on one income may seem like a stretch in this day and age, women didn’t expect men to keep a tight hold of their wallets. In fact, stinginess was considered an very unattractive attribute in a husband. Consequently, the perfect man of the 1950s would have been generous with his cash.

The 1950s are widely considered to be the Golden Age of Hollywood. So it’s little wonder that women took inspiration from the movies when it came to picturing their perfect man. One popular crush of the era was William Holden. Filmmaker Billy Wilder once said of the actor, “He was a genuine star. Every woman was in love with him.”

For women of the 1950s, a husband who could stand on their own two feet was highly sought after. While she was most likely expected to cook and for him, a girl valued a man with independence. Perhaps if the man of the house could think for himself it was one less thing for the woman to think about.

In 1956 Life magazine published the findings of a survey it had asked the National Field Service to complete. In it, they asked young females about their desired qualities in a spouse. And when the results came in, it seemed that 23 was deemed the ideal age of a potential suitor.

Men who were bossy were seemingly a big turn off for women 60 years ago. While popular TV shows of the day may have dictated that “Father Knows Best,” women didn’t like being told what to do by their husbands. With that in mind, maybe wives of the 1950s weren’t as subservient as small-screen stereotypes of the time would have us believe.

While women valued men who were independent, they still wanted to have their say on important household decisions. As a result, girls wanted to marry a man who would value their opinion, or at least consult them before reaching an outcome. That way, married couples could figure things out together.

Another celebrity heartthrob of the era was Rock Hudson, and many women considered him to be perfect husband material. Handsome Hudson starred in a number of popular movies including Giant and All That Heaven Allows. But at the time his dedicated female following were unaware of the fact that he was actually gay.

While the home may have been considered a woman’s domain in the 1950s, wives nonetheless wanted their husbands to be of some use around the house. In particular, a man should be good at repairing things. Being adept at making stuff was also considered a plus, with woodworking cited as the respondents’ preferred hobby for their hubbies in the Life poll.

According to the 1956 Life article, “A basic occupation of virtually every woman is choosing a man to marry.” And in what was perhaps a sign of changing gender roles in the ’50s, girls didn’t want their husbands to treat them as if they were simply another possession. With that in mind, controlling men weren’t deemed to be attractive.

According to a survey carried out by dating site Elite Singles, reading is considered an attractive attribute. And that’s something women in the ’50s already knew. They desired a partner who was well-read. However, they didn’t want their men to get so lost in a book that they refused to help out.

By the late 1950s Elvis Presley had risen out of poverty to become one of the world’s biggest superstars. What’s more, his iconic good looks made him one of the era’s most enduring sex symbols. With that in mind, it’s little wonder that many women dreamed of becoming Presley’s wife.

The perfect date night during the 1950s almost certainly involved dancing. Women of the day loved the pastime, in fact, and they expected their husbands to be willing partners. But according to the Life poll, two-thirds of women were willing to put up with a man with no rhythm. As the article stated, “All she requires is that he try”

Indeed, women of the 1950s wanted their husbands to be sociable in general. Men who were unwilling to spend time with friends and family were considered a turn-off. However, conflicting marriage advice from the decade – as quoted by the Daily Mail advised wives to “make the evening his” and never resort to “complaining if he does not take you out.”

One of the more unusual attributes outlined in the Life article required men to be involved in civic matters. It was unclear what this meant exactly, but it perhaps suggested that women liked their men to take an interest in politics or helping out in the community. In general, then, it seems that husbands should have been model citizens.

Arrogance was considered a major turn-off for women in the ’50s. Instead, they wanted their future husband to have an air of modesty. And it seems that not much has changed in 60 years. Indeed, according to a Facebook post by True Love Dates, many women still find cockiness an unattractive characteristic in men today.

With that in mind, men with good manners were also appreciated by women of the 1950s. A rude husband was a big no-no. And it seems that dating was the perfect opportunity for males to prove their good etiquette, as it was considered proper for a man to ask his crush out, collect her at her door and ultimately foot the bill.

Despite the pressures men had bear in providing for their families in the ’50s, girls still didn’t want their husbands to take life too seriously. Instead, they dreamed of sharing life with a jolly man. And in general, the decade offered people lots of things to smile about. For example, average incomes were on the rise and a new generation of household appliances were making life easier than ever before.

While women were expected to let their husbands take the lead in family business as head of the house, they didn’t want to share their life with tyrants. Consequently, being controlling was cited as a negative attribute by the girls who took part in the Life poll. Instead, wives expected a certain level of freedom.

It will probably come as no surprise to find that women of the 1950s expected their husbands to be honest. Being truthful is still considered an important component of a successful relationship today, of course. As a result, honesty remains high on the list of attributes people look for in their future spouse.

In the 1950s women wanted husbands who knew how to have a good time. And while plenty of difficult social issues were being tackled during the era, in general fun was easy to come by. For example, televisions were just beginning to take off and many families entertained themselves by crowding around their favorite shows.

While women were expected to look after matters in the home, having a man who could attend to the garden was definitely seen as a plus. Back then, one of the fashions was to fill your yard with quirky ornaments. So it may also have been beneficial for a man to have a good taste in gnomes.

The ideal husband should have a good education, according to the women who took part in the Life poll. Being learned was a highly-prized asset, so much so that some females enrolled in college simply to find the perfect man. As a result, some girls jokingly claimed they were “seeking an M.R.S. degree.”

Having a touch of the green-eyed monster wasn’t something that women of the time wanted from their potential husbands. Jealousy was considered an unattractive attribute by the women polled for the Life magazine article. Clearly, they wanted a man who was sure enough in himself not to have feelings of envy.

In many ways, dating as we know it today was invented in the 1950s. And women of the day didn’t want the evenings out to stop when they finally found their perfect men. As a result, they hoped their husbands would take them out on the town, if not dancing then at least to dinner or the movies.

In keeping with their desire for an honest man, women of the 1950s didn’t want their husbands to be secretive. They much preferred full disclosure in their marriage, with their man laying it all out on the table. So while she was often left at home, she clearly expected her husband to fill her in with all the significant happenings of his day.

Women wanted their husbands to be chatty as well. Being talkative was cited as a plus in the Life poll. In fact, two-thirds of the girls who took part in the survey said that they would prefer a talker to a listener, but they themselves didn’t promise to be a good listener either.

Another asset on women’s checklists was someone with a cheerful disposition. A moody man simply wouldn’t do for many of the ladies quizzed by Life. So while the saying goes “happy wife, happy life,” it seems that a merry husband is just as essential to household harmony.

Future wives of the 1950s hoped for a husband who was clever. So intelligence was seen as a definite plus in a partner. However, the same cannot be said for the men of today. According to research by the Warsaw School of Economics in Poland, males aren’t attracted to bright women, unless they happen to be beautiful as well.

According to the Life survey respondents, the man who most resembled the ideal husband of the 1950s was Perry Como. However, the entertainer was seemingly far from perfect. An extract from the article read, “Como was chosen in spite of the fact that he does not fit all of the requirements nor all of the personal characteristics girls rate high. He is five feet nine-and-a-half inches tall instead of six feet. His eyes are brown instead of blue and he is not 23. He almost never washes dishes.”